The Art of Being Me

When I was a pup, I moved from the country to the big city and life really changed for me. Not only did I get to live inside (there is a Dog!), but I also found myself with a lot of time on my paws. Plus, the neighborhood dogs were a bit intimidating when we met up at the park. They spent most of the time barking things like "When I graduated from agility school" or "I can't this weekend, I have a therapy dog shift."

Braggarts.

Sure, I could do those ordinary jobs, but I've discovered I'm more of a free spirit when it comes to my education. Thankfully, my people support my eclectic interests and my home is filled with a variety of books. When my people leave during the day, I become my own home school teacher. I always get the top marks in my class. In fact, marking is one of my best subjects.

Another of my favorite subjects is Art. My summer project was to take my people to art fairs and search for just the right painting to hang in our home. I really connected with one artist who shares my vision for the world. Here is the family portrait she painted of us. I think it is a very accurate depiction of my life. The finished product is now on exhibit daily and has received much critical acclaim.

It's a real piece of work, just like me.

The Secret under the Stairs

Just when I thought I knew my people - it turns out that they have been holding out on me. Sure, I've seen them disappear down the stairs and then come back up. I just thought they possessed magical abilities. I mean, they can make the big boxes on wheels move - they probably can do just about anything. Right?

Wrong. I have been betrayed. All this time, I thought I wasn't allowed to come down the stairs with them because I haven't learned how to disappear. But, no! For some reason they just did not want me to know that there was a secret room that exists below our house. Hmph.

This is what my life has come to. I am being treated like a common criminal, as you can see. Canine discrimination! I'm calling PETA! The Humane Society! Oprah! If I only could use a phone!

The truth came out last week. My people started hustling up and down the stairs and moving stuff around, which was very unusual. Finally, after much begging and pleading, I was finally allowed into the secret room club.

Now, let me tell you one thing, that secret room was not Disneyland. Or Narnia. Think of Harry Potter's cupboard under the stairs, but less upscale and spacious and you'd be pretty close.

Plus, the secret room was filled with water.

Don't get me wrong, I have a healthy appreciation for water. It's almost a part of who I am. But, I would rather keep the pools outside the house, if you get my drift. So, when I went down into the not-so-secret room, I discovered that somehow my people had created a pool where no pool should ever be.

But, as usual, it was a good thing I was on hand to help take care of the situation. Stacy often needs some assistance with projects like this and I am just the handy helper that the emergency called for.


The pool has since been cleaned up and I am allowed down in the secret room more often. However, I must admit, it's not a lot of fun down there. Maybe they should have kept that secret, if you know what I mean. I think I'll stay upstairs from now on - unless they need me to help out again. Which, knowing them, is a pretty likely scenario.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Yo, dogs! I had one of the best summers ever! First, I went on a long car ride and visited my first family for a long weekend. There was no room at the inn, so my people and I stayed in a great big house with lots of rooms! Our rooms were big enough that Grandma stayed with us, too. Which was good, since she needed me to be her alarm clock. Well, not that she actually asked me to, but she seemed appreciative when I woke her up in the mornings.

As great as this place was, there was something very strange there. Sometimes, we would go into a creepy little room and watch as the doors close behind us. Then, the room MOVED! When the doors opened up again - we were somewhere different than when the doors closed!

It was not natural.

After that, I politely declined any invitations to go into the room of horror!

Other than that - it was a great trip! I loved spending time with my first family and with my cute little half-brothers! Those boys were lots of fun and I could tell they could use my positive influence. They also enjoyed all my tales of life in the big city. I even showed them how to swim in the pond. Several times, in fact as they needed a lot of instruction and I was happy to oblige. Hey, what are big brothers for?


Everyone had a great time, but I was happy when we packed up to return back to the city. It is always nice to come home, especially when there are great places for me to exercise the folks on the way!

I Could Be a Star

I was hanging out with my people today, and suddenly we all saw something unbelieveable on the TV. Two new movies are coming out soon and both star dogs that look exactly like ME! First Marley, and now this! Here are the two movies: The Dog Who Saved Christmas and The Dog Named Christmas. The picture on the right is from The Dog Named Christmas.

I really need to start looking for an agent. If those dogs can make it big, surely I can, too! I've got the looks. I've got the attitude. I've got two people at my beck and call to take care of the details.

Watch out world, here I come! Here's a little inspiration for any screenplay writers out there looking for a a new star. If this picture doesn't say Christmas, I don't know what does.

Swim of a Clete

This weekend we did one of my favorite activities - we went swimming! I love the water. It's like I was born to swim! We went to the Independence Grove People Exercise Area and it really works to wear my people out so they are more relaxed for the rest of the day. Well, I could tell you more but I hear that a picture is worth 1000 words...so I figure a video would tell you the whole story!

Play With Mii!

You won't believe this. Just now, I was taking a well-deserved nap (these people need a lot of attention on the weekends) and when I woke up I saw something very disturbing. Something that I can hardly describe.

I opened my eyes to find my people playing a game on the big TV, which isn't unusual. What was unusual was the fact that the game they were playing was Frisbee Fetch! With a fake dog!

The betrayal.

I would blog more, but I'm off to find a game where I can pretend I have different owners. Hmph.

Snacks, Drugs, and Rock & Roll

I had the best weekend, ever! We made the most of the longest day of the year. I finally got my visit to Bentley's Corner Barkery and the nice people there even gave me some delicious frozen yogurt. I love summer!!

There has been a new development in my life, however. Over the last few weeks, something strange has been happening to me. I'm living my usual happy-go-lucky life, when all of the sudden I get the shakes and then I black out! After I wake up, my people look worried (although they try to hide it) and it takes awhile before I'm feeling up for my next round of fetch. 15-20 minutes at least, I'd say. An eternity!

I figured it was bad doggie dreams or something until the morning Stacy and Ryann forgot to feed me. I couldn't believe it! I begged. I pleaded. Nothing. I've never seen them this strict!

I thought things were looking up when they asked me if I wanted to go for a car ride. You can imagine my disappointment when we got out of the car at the White Coat Hotel. Last time I checked in here, I got new knees. This did not look good.

We went inside and soon we had a room to ourselves while we waited for the White Coats. When they arrived, they gave me lots of attention and ran me through a bunch of tests. It's hard to tell if I passed or not, but at least I didn't have to spend the night at the White Coat Hotel. That is not my type of vacation, if you know what I mean.

So, I get a little extra something at dinnertime now. I have no idea what it is, but it tastes like chicken. On my meager diet, I'll take what I can get.

This new food hasn't slowed me down any. Just last night I decided to strut my musical talent while Stacy was practicing his drums. We're not too bad, although a few more lessons wouldn't hurt Stacy any. We're quite the musical family! (I still think I should get to be in parade, too. Hmph. Maybe next year.)

Timing Is Everything

Even though it may seem like I lead a pretty busy life, in reality my schedule stays pretty open. The sun comes up, I go for a walk, eat breakfast, and then take a nap. Later in the afternoon, I go for a walk, eat dinner, and then sleep some more. Needless to say, I could use some excitement and right now my humans are holding me back.

First, they thought I wouldn't notice that I was invited, via email, to be in a local 4th of July parade with Critter Nannies! So rude for them to not tell me since the Critter Nannies people are my friends. They never come visit Stacy and Ryann - they come visit me! We walk, we talk. It's nice.

But, did they bother to even tell me about my own invitation be in a parade? Noooo. So, what choice did I have but to read through the rest of their email and it seems like they are already in another parade! Urgh. That would explain the reappearance of the shiny instruments. Terrific. 5 more of my 15 minutes of fame down the drain.

Then, was it too much to ask for some fun on a beautiful Sunday afternoon? All day long they kept saying we would do something fun after we got our work done. I don't know about them, but my work was done before noon. I slobbered my people with love, I chewed up some toys, the usual stuff.

So, hours and hours later, we finally got in the car to go to one of my favorite places: Bentley's Corner Barkery! I spent the entire car ride deciding which treat I would choose from the display case and then, when we finally arrived, disaster struck.

They were closed.



Thanks a lot, people! You just couldn't wait to clean the kitchen until tonight, could you? Come, on!

I seriously need to learn how to tell time.

The Graduate

During the last few weeks, I have been studying hard to pass my first class at the Family Dog Center. School there is loads of fun. I see lots of other dogs and people and everyone seems to like me, even if Stacy and Ryann think I am a bit too talkative in class.

Nevertheless, I graduated! Here's Stacy and I right after I received my diploma. I'm thrilled with my scholarly accomplishments, but I am not sure why Stacy looks so surprised. I always get a lot of attention in class. Probably because I'm never shy about sharing my wisdom with the young pups in my class. Don't hide your light under a bushel, I say.

But what next? In this economy, finding employment as a new grad will be tough. I may have to do a lot of searching to find just the right job for me.


Still - I think I have options. I could be a....

Synchronized Swimmer


Landscape Architect
(I am really good at lawn mowing and fertilizing.)

Home Furnishings Quality Control Officer
(I have a natural aptitude for this.)

And those are just a few of my choices! Good thing I have some time before I need to make a decision. I heard that Grandpa Murphy used to say, "Stay in school as long as you can because you'll have the rest of your life to work." Sounds like a good plan. Besides - I'm happy with my current role in our household:

Man's Best Friend

Park It, Doggie

Stacy and Ryann are stressed out. I've been noticing the signs for sometime now. I have had more time on my paws than usual and when they are home they are seldom very far from their computers.

Enough already! They needed to do some serious de-stressing so I convinced them that we needed to take an outing to somewhere new. Sure, we go shopping. We go to the coffee shop. We've even been to the forest preserve, but there I need to stick close to them so they don't get lost.

So, I finally convinced them to go to a park just for stressed out canine caretakers! Let me just say, I think it did them some good. Here's why:

1. They can walk wherever they want, even without me minding them.

2. They can save money because I love to find abandoned tennis balls all throughout the park!


3. They don't need to worry about me getting too hot, because I can take a dip while they relax along the water.

All in all, we had a wonderful time this weekend visiting two different local dog parks! We all are more relaxed now, even me.

Clete 101

Let's face it, I'm no dog of mystery. I love fetch, food and sleep. Which is why I was surprised when my good friend Rose invited me to her house for a sleepover and Stacy and Ryann thought she would need need an advanced degree in Canine Caretaking to spend the weekend with little ole me.

First, they packed up nearly all of my belongings: crate, bed, food, toys, treats, food dish, fancy papers, vet phone number more food, etc. For a quick second, I thought maybe I was moving out!

Next, they created a list of the words and what they think they mean. Boy are they confused. I picked a few of my favorite examples.

What They Say / What I Hear

NO. / You can never have fun.

Sit. / Put your butt on the ground and you'll get food.

Leave it! / Don't eat that!

Come / I'm lonely, Clete. Come play with me!

Be right back! / Enjoy the couch.

Go Potty! / Explore the yard.

That was how my weekend began! Even with this misinformation, Rose was a wonderful hostess! It is clear she loves fetch as much as I do because she couldn't play it enough. A few times I even acted like I was tired to see if she would stop.

She spent a lot of time working in her garden when I was visiting, and I helped, too! She had a lot of water puddles everywhere in her yard and I ran through them over and over to get the water mixed in real good with the dirt around it.

She even made me get up really early to go out and play more fetch the next day, but I put my paw down. No fetch before 6:00 a.m., maam. (Sometimes you have to show tough love.)

Later on, I indulged her love of fetch for a few more hours and continued mixing up the garden until Stacy and Ryann came to get me. They seemed really happy to see me. But not happy enough to let me sit in the front seat of the car, apparantly. Honestly, what's a dog have to do to get some love?

I really enjoyed me weekend at Rosie's. Hopefully I'll get a chance to go visit again sometime. Her big backyard needs a dog like me to tend to it properly!

Sunday Walk in the Woods

I love comfy-shoe days! These are days when Ryann does not put on pointy-shoes and stays home with me and Stacy. Usually, comfy-shoe days also mean that Stacy does not have to stare at the electric box all day! Yes!

We almost always get to do something special on comfy-shoe days. Yesterday was a comfy-shoe day and all three of us went for a hike! I love hikes - I get to smell and see all sorts of new things! There are, however, a few tips that I would like to pass on in to my canine friends.

1. Always hike with a buddy-preferably a non-grumpy type like Stacy!

2. Always look both ways before crossing the road.

3. Sometimes you need to point out cool stuff to your humans. Their noses are inferior to our own advanced olfactory sensory systems.

4. Be courteous and share the road with less fortunate beings that have no legs and rely on feeble wheels. Don't feel bad for them, however, as those guys can really move.

5. Have fun! It is important to take time to connect with your human and with nature!

Life on the Inside

Have you been wondering where I've been? Things are busy in our house and I've been working just as hard as the humans. The weather finally warmed up again for about two hours and then it got subarctic again. Enough already! Dogs and humans need outside time! I am so tired of it!

While we are inside all I get to do is work, work, work. Here's me - Stacy's right hand dog:

Where would he be without me? Lonely and unproductive, I'm sure. He can pay me in treats and outside fetch sessions...if it ever warms up again that is...

Maintaining My Figure

Finally, finally, finally - Spring is on the way! Sure, we got another four inches of snow yesterday, but I heard birds! We are taking walks again! Ryann stopped wearing a fuzzy hat indoors! My favorite walk of all time was a few days ago when we took a nice, long walk to a new place that had human drinks (hmph). The snow had melted away leaving nice big mud puddles, just for me! While Ryann wanted me to stay away from them, I knew Stacy wanted to play in the mud so I took him through the puddles anyway. It was the most fun-I looked almost exactly like a black Lab when we were done!All this exercise means that I can have special treats every now and then - even doughnuts! Ok, so this isn't a real doughnut but it was a real nice treat. Thanks, Auntie Beth! :-)

Brrr-I'm So Bored!

These brutal subzero temperatures are ridiculous! Even being the tough guy I am - it is too cold to stay outside for too long! Of course, even if I wanted to stay outside, my poor people are pretty thin-skinned and they just can't take it.

So I've been stuck inside for what seems like an eternity!!! The walls are closing in! Stacy and Ryann feel bad for me, I know. We all miss the neighborhood patrols. I can tell because while I look longingly outside, they look longingly at cookie and cake recipes. Let's just say there has been a lot of whining from everyone in our house.


Still, they are doing what they can. They have been keeping me well-stocked with new toys to keep me busy and we've been playing a lot of hide-and-seek. We are all looking forward to the warm-up today-it's supposed to get up to 20 degrees! We're so excited!

Of course, it is snowing again, but I don't mind that at all. I'll take what I can get!

What I Did During My Holiday Vacation

It was the day after Christmas, and all through the house Stacy and Ryann were packing up stuff they had decorated and put under the shiny indoor tree (odd thing, that) and cramming it into our car. I didn't think there would be any room left for me and I figured I was destined for a return visit to "Camp" but, to my supreme surprise, they left room in the car for me, too!

I had the best trip ever! First stop: Minnesota. Not only did I get to run free out in the country, but I got treats, too! Some were given to me by human family members (biscuits, a stocking, sugar cookies, snack mix) and some I just helped myself to...including crackers left out on a buffet table just for me. What hospitality. I also found a dead pigeon which I thought was very cool...but no one let me keep it. I guess you can't have your bird and eat it, too.

Next stop: South Dakota - a return to my homeland! The accommodations here were amazing. Again, we stayed in the country and I was allowed to go inside AND up and down the stairs! I'm not used to stairs but I am a fast, fast, fast learner. The food here was great, too: pineapple, more sugar cookies, snap peas, and more. Yum, yum.

The best part about this place - the dogs! My mom and brother stayed here, too! We got to play together and we even took a road trip so I could run and flush out pheasants! Okay, so maybe I didn't really flush out the birds...but I heard all about how to do it from my brother, Smoot and his friend. Here's a family picture. That's me on the far right, my mom (Max) in the middle and my bro Smoot on the left. Aren't we a good looking family?

Final stop: Grandma's House! It goes without saying that I always have fun at Grandma's house. More gifts for me and I gave her something, too. I do have manners, you know.

Then, the party started! Two of my favorite cousins came over for a sleepover and we played video games. It was the most fun. My food discovery here? Blue Jello. Next time I'll pass. I don't know if Ryann was feeling well this trip - she hardly ever stopped me from eating new foods (except for the dead pigeon)! 'Tis the season, I suppose!

My Christmas

Here's a brief video of my wonderful Christmas celebration. Finally, after watching Stacy and Ryann hide stuff in boxes with layers and layers of paper for other loved ones - something for me! I think they read my gift suggestions.

Good humans.

They were so good, in fact, that I suffered through the indignity of wearing (too small) fake antlers. Good grief.

Marley Is Not ME!

If you haven't already seen it - there is a new movie out called "Marley and Me." I haven't seen it yet, but if there ever was a movie perfect for a dog friendly showing - this would be it.

But, I've had it. Everywhere we go-"There's Marley! Hey, look it's Marley!" Do I look like a trouble maker like Marley? Ok, I admit there is a slight resemblance. However, there are some significant differences.

First of all, I do not eat jewelry. Second, I do not eat couches. Third, I did not get kicked out of obedience school-I took a medical leave. Finally, and most importantly, I have not gone to the great dog run in the sky! I do admit, however, that if Stacy and Ryann took me to eat at the outdoor cafe, I probably would pull that "drag the table down the street" stunt.

Here's what I want to know: is this really the message we want to send young lab pups? The way to fame and fortune is misbehavior? I should think not.

So, I've decided to pen my own novel and screenplay in response: "Cletus and Us: The Story of the World's BEST Dog."

Pet Holiday Gift Guide

During the busy holiday season, I feel it is my duty as a dog blogger to remind all humans of one important thing: Don't forget your pet on Christmas!

Here is my list of suggested gifts for your favorite canine companion:

1. Anything from JW Pet! I love these toys. Some of them are fun to retrieve (what isn't, really) and some of them are fun to play with on my own in the house - even after the squeaker is gone! I love all of them and my favorites are the Bowling Pin and the Fish!

2. Anything I can retrieve! Frisbees and balls that glow in the dark are tops on the list. My need to fetch knows no season or schedule and needs no daylight! Some favorites are from REI and L.L. Bean.

3. Nylabones! Sometimes I just want to sit on my pillow (or lean on Stacy) and gnaw on a bone. I might even keep one nearby when I sleep in case I wake up and need to crunch.

4. Stuffed animals! I love to pull all the stuffing and squeakers out. My favorites are the Milkbone animals from Walgreens (not shown below). Not only are they cheap - they last forever because I recycle the feet and use them as balls!

Finally, some of the best toys are ones I find on walks. You won't believe the great stuff people and dogs leave behind. Tennis balls, baseballs, all for me!

Road Trips and Family Reunions

It's been over a year since I came to live with at my new house with Stacy and Ryann. I can hardly believe it. I have often wondered if I would ever see my birth family again - and this weekend I did!

It all started with an early morning car ride - that seemed to take FOREVER! We stopped a few times along the way and I was able to explore some great new places. Finally - we got to our destination - Grandma's house!!! I love Grandma! She always gives me new toys, feeds me yummy treats and she even stands up for me when I get in trouble! Now, that's something to be really thankful for!

Then, just as I was basking in the glow of my Grandma's love, and my human-biological parents walked right in! One sniff and I knew who they were. I ran around and around, showing them how great my new legs work. Later on, we went outside and I showed them how much my Frisbee fetching skills have improved!

My human-biological parents seem to be doing OK without me. I played with them as much as I could since I am sure they missed playing with me. I could tell my human-biological dad was related to The Enforcer because he kept giving me commands - but I couldn't understand what he wanted me to do! It's too bad that I didn't have more time with him to teach him a few things.

All in all - I had a great Thanksgiving! Seeing my biological human parents was nice - but my favorite part of the weekend was coming back home to our house.