They Call Me Mellow Yellow

People are always asking me - how do you stay so calm in this crazy, mixed-up world? With the economy taking a dive (along with my precious 401D) it is important to stay calm and relaxed.

How do I do it?

Doga.

Allow me to demonstrate with a few of my favorite poses. Do not try these at home without a trained professional to assist you. As you will see, sometimes a partner or doga hammock are necessary to achieve the full relaxing affects of each pose.

CSI Crime Scene Corpse Dog

Pancake Dog


Circle Dog

Running Dog

Sitting Boy

Chicken Stretch

Of course, I can do the Downward Dog - but it's too predictable for this blog.

The Bagels Are Back

Some of you regular readers may remember that a few months ago I had the ultimate Breakfast of Champions. It was an awesome day, one that would live on in infamy...

Until yesterday. Yesterday, we resumed patrols (finally I received my official "release" from kennel cough/Ebola induced house arrest) when to what should our wondering eyes appear - but a yard full of bagels! (Note the pumpkin in the picture for date authenticity!)

Again! Who would believe it? Not Ryann and Stacy, it seems, because once again they didn't think it was "an appropriate choice for the most important meal of the day." It didn't matter, though, because I have my own network of squirrel spies throughout the neighborhood.

Yes, you read that right. Squirrel spies. We keep up a facade of dislike that serves us both when we need unexpected allies.

So, while we returned from patrol, I signaled to the network to initiate Operation Bagel Rescue. From my observation post at the front windows of the house, I kept an eye on the progress. As squirrel squadron 1 worked to move bagels closer to the drop-off point (my mouth), we were almost forced to abort the mission.

Unexpectedly, Ryann went outside to move a car and spooked a rookie member of the squirrel force, causing him to drop the bagel from the tree right on to the sidewalk in front of her! Taken aback, she retreated inside to get her camera, which gave the rookie time to redeem himself by recapturing the bagel and hiding it in a safe spot in the rendezvous point - the neighbor's yard.

When Stacy and I went on patrol later that day, I was able to implement the final phase of the mission. Before Stacy could mount a defense, I swallowed the bagel in one mighty bite.

Mission OBR accomplished.

Quarantine

I've got the Ebola. I'm serious. E. Bo. La.

Okay, so maybe it's not Ebola. It might as well be. It all started last night when I cleared my throat to get my people's attention. It didn't work so I cleared it again and again. Soon, I was up every hour with a hacking cough! Aaack.

Really, it's not fun.

So Stacy and Ryann took me to see the White Coats. Ugh. This time we received special attention (finally, I say) and got a room right away. It might have had something to do with my Darth Vader impersonation that I began as soon as we entered the White Coat Building.

Then, in our private biolock suite, the White Coats gave us the bad news. I have become a victim of my own social life. So now, I'm in quarantine for two weeks.

No School.
No Walks.
No Fun.

What will become of me? How will I ever get a job with out my doggie school diploma?

Aaaackk. Aaaackk.

Like I said--Ebola.

Dog Spelled Backwards

Did you know that Dog spelled backwards is God? I only recently learned this amazing fact, and I decided I better find out with this "God" is all about. So, I set off to find the right church for me to learn about God and found it after a long, exhaustive search. How did I know this was the perfect church for me? Well, I knew I wanted someplace that was welcoming to all who would enter. The church I found not only had an open-door policy...

But an open-fence policy as well! I had a wonderful time exploring the grounds around the church, and I even helped make them a little more holey. I also had a short counseling session with the Pastor. He thought I was an amazing student and seemed to really enjoy our discussion.

Another clue that this church was the one for me was the fact that it offered a blended worship service. Can you believe it? A service that blends the spiritual needs of both people and canines!

Now, that IS a miracle.

Teacher's Pet

Yesterday was my first day of school! I could hardly sleep all weekend while I was at "camp" just thinking about it! I was hoping to get to go school shopping - but, as usual, my people left me at home while they went to get my new duds.While I would never tell them this, I was glad they did because then I was wearing the latest fashions and fit right in with my new classmates.

I don't want to brag, but I'm pretty sure I'm the teacher's pet. She kept saying my name and pointing to me and she even brought me to the center of the class to show me off. I loved being the center of attention so I made most of my time by showing her some other tricks I know, even ones she didn't ask for!

I have to admit, school is harder than I thought it would be. We work the whole time and, unless I missed something, we didn't get recess! How am I supposed to get to know my classmates? I'm not the oldest in the class - but I'm certainly the biggest. There is another dog there who could be my little brother. Sniff, sniff. Wouldn't that be nice? Someone drop the hint to my people, please!

Can't type more - I have homework to do. Wish me luck with the rest of the semester!

Belated Treats

I love being two! Check out the yummy treat we went to get tonight from Bentley's Barkery. After Ryann and I went for a long walk (I was good - my doggie-sense told me something special was coming), we picked up Stacy and went over to our favorite barkery to get my birthday treat!

Doesn't it look delicious? I could hardly hold myself back from gobbling it down right away. I do have my manners, however, and I waited until Ryann could take a picture of me and my birthday doughnut.

I wanted to savor the experience, so I thought I would take my birthday doughnut to my special treat eating spot. However, luck was not with me and I dropped my treat - blue frosting side down!

Thank goodness Stacy and Ryann don't get mad very easily!

I can't wait until I'm three!

Happy Birthday to Me

So, they say it's my birthday! Today I turned two years old. How did I celebrate this momentous occasion? Well, my wonderful people gave me a surprise sleepover at a Pet Resort! It was awesome. I played games with other dogs, stayed up all night and ate whatever I wanted.

But, as with all good things, my wonderful birthday had to come to an end. I can hardly move tonight thanks to all that birthday fun. Never fear, dear reader, Stacy and Ryann said we could celebrate more tomorrow when my sleepover tummy ache goes away. (Don't cry for me, Argentina, it was worth it).